Chaos at Coconuts Read online

  Cheri giggled. “Stay here anytime you want. I’d love the company. Consider it your lake retreat.”

  Hope rushed toward the kitchen. “Girls, we have a lake retreat.”

  Cheri filled their wineglasses. “Make yourselves at home. I’ve got to tend to the oven. Feel free to look around.”

  The women hopped off the brown leather bar stools and walked into the living room.

  “This is my new favorite house. I love it,” Alex said.

  “It’s incredible but a kid would destroy this place,” Suzy said. “Look at those white carpets.”

  Cheri overheard Suzy. “I don’t really like kids, so that’s a moot issue.”

  Alex and Suzy exchanged glances.

  “She’ll change her mind someday,” Suzy said.

  “I’m not sure about that.” Alex studied the décor. “She could be an interior decorator as well as a chef.”

  Cheri stepped into the room. “It’s ready, girls. I made several appetizers. These are all on Fifth Avenue Catering’s menu.”

  Wineglasses in hand, the threesome stared agog at the heaping platters of food.

  Hope said, “It’s too pretty to eat.”

  “Thanks, but I hope you eat every last morsel.” Ladies, I made bacon-wrapped dates filled with gorgonzola cheese; pasta with spinach, garlic, tomatoes and olive oil; asparagus drizzled with balsamic vinegar and parmesan cheese; chilled shrimp with a mango cocktail salsa; and a microgreens salad with strawberries, feta cheese, green onions, and pecans.” She looked at her guests expectantly. “I hope you’re hungry.”

  Hope’s eyebrows shot up. “You call these ‘appetizers?’ I call chips, salsa, and guacamole from Sam’s Club appetizers.”

  “If this is an audition to be my wedding caterer, you’re hired,” Suzy said.

  Cheri beamed. “Done. I’d love to collaborate with you.”

  Alex eyed the spread. “I’m hiring you, too, for the next time we need fancy schmancy food at a bank function.”

  “Thanks for the endorsements, ladies. Who wants a sangria?” Cheri pointed toward a giant glass container filled with strawberries, orange slices, apples, and plenty of wine.

  An echo of “Me, me, me” filled the kitchen. Cheri tightened her apron and took out glasses from the cabinet. “I’ll get the drinks while you grab some food. Let’s eat on the deck. We can’t let this beautiful day go to waste.”

  Alex, Suzy, and Hope balanced square white plates laden with food and walked outside.

  “Even the sunset coordinates with Cheri’s napkins.” Hope shook her head. “Unbelievable.”

  Alex winked. “I have a feeling Cheri thinks of every detail—even the sky.”

  Suzy leaned over the railing. “That gorgeous, blue lake is inviting.”

  “I can’t eat. And that’s saying something.” Hope chuckled. “I just want to stare. Look at this huge, wrap-around wooden deck.”

  “I like the patio furniture and those burnt orange cushions,” Suzy said. “And that slate table and fire pit? Stunning.”

  “I love the flowers.” Alex pointed toward several hefty clay pots filled with Gerbera daisies, elephant ears, and impatience. Placed strategically along the deck and down the stairs, the flowers led to the yard overlooking Crystal Lake. Green ivy spilled over the railing.

  Cheri stepped outside in time to hear most of the comments. “Thank you, ladies. Grandma chose a beautiful lot for a home, didn’t she? Now you see why I couldn’t bear to sell it.”

  Alex held a mango-dipped shrimp in mid-air. “Everything is amazing—the house, water, view, and the food. Thanks for inviting us. It’s a much-needed break from my crazy life.”

  “You’re welcome. Thanks for your friendship. All of you.” Cheri lit citronella candles to keep the mosquitoes away and raised her glass. “Here’s to girlfriends.”

  “Here, here,” everyone echoed and toasted.

  Suzy popped a date into her mouth. “Oh, my God. This is orgasmic.”

  Hope stabbed the bowtie pasta with her fork. “Thank God I don’t diet. I could eat the whole bowl.”

  Alex chased a bacon-wrapped date with sangria. “I could make a meal out of the dates. Just bring the whole platter out here.”

  “Get seconds, ladies. There’s plenty.”

  “You sure know how to cook. I’m already stuffed,” Suzy said. “I’m bloated but it was worth it. Thank you for this mouth-watering feast.” She peered at the sky. “We were so enthralled in eating, I didn’t realize it had gotten dark.”

  Hope leaned against an orange pillow. “I feel like a mouse who just ate all of the food at Golden Corral but this is a hundred thousand times better.”

  The women giggled.

  “Look.” Alex pointed. “There’s a shooting star. Make a wish, everyone.” After the star disappeared, she said, “I brought a game.”

  “A game?” Hope asked.

  “Yup. You’ll love it.”

  “Let’s go inside and play this game, whatever it is,” Cheri said.

  Chapter 61

  The women gathered plates, glasses, platters of food, and set them on the granite counter. “Anyone want coffee?”

  Everyone bobbed their head. Suzy opened cabinet doors. “Let me help. Where are your mugs?”

  Cheri nodded with her head as she pushed ‘brew’ on the coffee maker and poured cream into a miniature silver pitcher.

  Suzy helped Cheri arrange the coffee-filled mugs on a platter while everyone retreated to the living room.

  Alex sat cross-legged on the floor while dropping perfectly cut pieces of paper onto the carpet. “Do you have a bowl?”

  Cheri giggled. “Are you kidding me? A caterer without a bowl is like a bowler without a ball.” She disappeared into the kitchen and returned with a mixing bowl.

  Alex folded the squares, placed them in the dish, and stirred the paper with her fingers. “Get comfy, girls. I thought up some get-acquainted questions to help Cheri get to know us better. I typed them on my computer, printed them out, and cut them up. If she’s going to be one of the gang, she needs to know our deepest, darkest secrets, right?” Alex regarded the group as if for approval.

  Hope giggled. “Only you would do this.”

  Suzy snorted. “And only you would print the questions off and cut them into perfect squares.”

  Alex shrugged. “I’m a perfectionist. So sue me.”

  “I’m glad you did this.” Cheri crossed her legs. “Thanks for bringing the entertainment. I would like to get to know you ladies better.”

  Suzy wriggled between Hope and Cheri. “Since this is your big idea, Alex, you go first.”

  “Fine.” Alex reached into the bowl and drew out one of her prepared questions.

  What’s your pet peeve?

  “Easy except I have several.”

  “Pick one,” Suzy said.

  “Tailgaters. I hate it when someone rides my bumper.” She touched her cheek with her finger. “And it really gets on my nerves when people ask, ‘What was your name?’ instead of ‘What is your name?’ I always rattle off my childhood nickname or my maiden name, like my name is Alexandra Mitchell but it was—”

  The women laughed. “I never thought about it that way,” Hope said.

  “Wait, I have another pet peeve,” Alex said. “I hate it when people pronounce Missouri with an ‘ah’ at the end. You don’t hear people say ‘Mississippah,’ do you?”

  “Another good point,” Suzy said. “You should send a press release to the media directing everyone how to pronounce the Show-Me state.”

  “Ha-ha.” Alex threw a pillow at Suzy. “Maybe I will.”

  Hope drew out a question. “What kind of man are you looking for?”

  She groaned. “Why does it alw
ays have to be about men? I’m not looking for a man. My life is much simpler without one. I’m not, I repeat, not interested in a relationship. I like being single.”

  Alex furrowed her brows. “Whatever you say, Hope, but I’m not sure I believe you. “Your turn, Suzy.”

  Suzy reached into the bowl and pulled out a question. How old were you when you had sex?

  Suzy grinned. “I lost my virginity to my childhood sweetheart, Ken, at the ripe old age of eighteen. We waited until we were out of high school, barely out.” She threw her hands in the air. “Then, we stupidly married other people, but now we’re together again.” She teared up. “You guys made it happen.”

  “Made what happen?” Cheri asked.

  “The wedding. Hope, Alex, and our classmates pulled a beautiful ceremony together the night of our class reunion after Ken proposed on the dance floor.” Suzy grinned. “Jon and Fernando bought a wedding cake at the local grocery store and Hope’s biological dad, Paul, married us.”

  “How funny since you’re a wedding planner but how romantic that it was spontaneous.” Cheri sighed. “I wish I would have that kind of luck.”

  “Stop looking for dates on the Internet,” Alex, Hope, and Suzy said in unison.

  Cheri sighed. “I know. I know. Who’s next?”

  “You are,” Alex said.

  Cheri reached in, unfolded the tiny square, and peered at the ceiling. “Not this.”

  “Read it,” Hope said.

  Cheri stalled.

  Alex snatched the paper from Cheri and broke into a wide smile. You got the winning question. She paused dramatically before reading it.

  “Have you ever found your G-spot?”

  Everyone literally rolled on the floor with laughter.

  “I’m making a new rule that everyone has to answer this one. We all want to know about the mysterious G-spot.”

  Cheri cupped her hand over her mouth. “Then you go first, Alex. You and your crazy get-to-know-me questions.”

  Alex held up her hands. “Okay, okay. I’ll answer. No, I haven’t and neither has the cop. I think he—or I’d—need Google or Siri to find the damn thing.”

  “My ex, Bill, would never ask for directions, so he obviously never found it.” Suzy giggled. “Maybe I should pose this as a challenge to Ken.”

  Hope shrugged. “What’s a G-spot?”

  Alex choked on her coffee. “You’ve surely heard of it.”

  “I’ve heard of it but I sure don’t know where the stupid thing is.”

  Everyone turned toward Cheri.

  “So, Miss Socialite, have you—or someone—discovered your G-spot?” Alex asked.

  The curved smile and rosy cheeks on Cheri’s face said it all. All three women threw pillows at her.

  Hope joked. “Now I have another reason to hate you.”

  Drawing one more question each, the girls played the game until ten.

  Afterward, Hope stepped into the kitchen. “I’ve got to work tomorrow. Let’s hurry and do the dishes.”

  Cheri pushed them out of the kitchen. “No way. You’re my guests, plus you each have a thirty-minute drive. I can clean up in the morning.” She didn’t have to twist their arms. Alex, Hope, and Suzy retrieved their purses and headed for the front door.

  Alex smiled at Cheri. “This was great. Thanks for your warm hospitality. Your home is beautiful and the food was amazing.”

  Suzy expressed her appreciation and Hope bobbed her head in agreement as she yawned and rubbed her belly. “Yes, thank you for everything. It was even more perfect than I expected.”

  Cheri’s eyes brimmed with tears as she watched the women leave. Girlfriends. This is what I’ve been missing in my life.

  Chapter 62

  After watching the morning news while simultaneously unloading the dishwasher, Suzy’s phone vibrated. She glanced at the screen. Her Halloween bride, Priscilla, had texted three times. She read the text.

  Can we meet at Rosa’s Mexican Restaurant? I’m worried about our wedding.

  Suzy squinted at the clock before responding: Sure. My treat since I’m starving.

  Priscilla texted back: Rodney and I will both be there, okay?

  As it should be. See you in thirty minutes.

  Suzy was glad she had already researched spooky wedding themes. I hope she isn’t getting cold feet. This Halloween theme is actually going to be fun. I can’t wait to give them my suggestions.

  Suzy gathered her purse and drove across town. The couple pulled up to the restaurant at the same time. She climbed out of her Murano, switched her iPad to her left hand, and hugged her clients. “Let’s get a booth. I have some fun ideas for you.”

  After they got seated, Priscilla’s face clouded. “I’m wondering if this Halloween theme is a good idea. Everyone might think we’re freaks, just like the rest of our family.”

  “Who cares what they think? Our friends won’t throw shade.” Rodney took his fiancée’s hand as the server placed chips and salsa on the table. “I hope whatever you found is in our budget, Suzy. Remember, it’s ti—”

  “I understand. You can pick and choose from several of my ideas. We can add or take away as your budget dictates.”

  Rodney bit into a chip. “Hit us. What did you find?”

  Suzy pressed a button and waited for her iPad to come to life. “It’s better if you see what I found.” She scooped salsa with a chip as the screen flickered. Scrolling until she found the Halloween-themed cakes, she said, “Take a look at these.” She pointed toward a black and white cake that was covered in skulls then clicked on a layered chocolate cake with red icing dripping down the sides. A large knife was plunged into the top.

  “Those are lit,” Rodney said.

  Priscilla’s face brightened. “Legit, for sure.”

  “There’s more.” Suzy enlarged a layered cake covered in black, leafless trees with black birds sitting on the limbs. The cake topper featured two black birds on a branch.

  “I think that’s my favorite.” Priscilla looked at her fiancé. The Birds by Alfred Hitchcock is one of our favorite movies. Don’t you think this is perfect?”

  “I like all of them. You pick.”

  Suzy beamed. “Spoken like a loving, future husband. I also found a cake topper with a zombie bride and groom.”

  The bride doubled over laughing. “I never dreamed other people were as weird as us. That’s a relief.” She scratched her head. “This is so hard. Maybe instead of the bird cake, let’s go with the chocolate cake and red dripping icing, but instead of the butcher knife on top, can we get the zombie bride and groom?” She glanced at Rodney.

  With a mouth full of chips, he said, “That cake’s dope.”

  Suzy scratched through her previous notes. “Consider it done. Let’s order before we go any further.”

  They studied the menus and ordered. After the server refilled their sodas and chips, she soon delivered their food. Suzy wolfed down a taco salad while her clients enjoyed beef enchiladas with beans and rice.

  When they were half finished eating, Suzy’s phone buzzed. She glanced at the screen and scolded herself for not turning it off. It was Ken. She decided to ignore the call and polished off her taco salad. Picking at the edible bowl, she said, “I’m afraid I’ll eat the entire plate if they don’t take it away.”

  Priscilla giggled. “I was hungry, too. What other ideas do you have for us?”

  “Think you can get your hands on a real skeleton?”

  Priscilla’s eyes bulged. “From where?”

  Suzy shrugged. “Maybe from your high school biology teacher.”

  “What would we do with a skeleton?” Rodney asked.

  “Plunk him on a park bench, of course. To ‘greet’ your guests and set the mood—or he could s
it beside the gift table. If you can’t get your hands on one, I’ll call my friend who works at a local high school.”

  Priscilla made notes. “I loved biology. I think my former teacher will let us borrow one from class.”

  Suzy cleared her throat. “Good. It’s also nice for the couple to provide little mementos for the guests.”

  The bride’s face dropped. “I don’t think we can afford gifts for guests.”

  “Think Dollar Store or check online budget sites. If you could get your hands on some plastic fangs for people to take out of a basket by the guest book, it would immediately get them into a festive mood even if they aren’t wearing a costume.”

  “I like it,” Rodney said. “And we won’t have that many guests. I’ll work on that.” He typed a reminder into his phone.

  Suzy scanned her notes. “Since the park board won’t allow a band—”

  Priscilla’s face fell. “You told me that earlier but we’ll need some type of music. It doesn’t have to be loud.”

  Suzy nodded. “I’m sure music that won’t disturb neighbors is fine. Why don’t you listen to Halloween wedding songs on iTunes and download them? Do you have a MP3 player? As long as we have power, we can play it when you walk down the aisle and maybe a couple more songs throughout the ceremony.”

  “I’ll handle that too,” Rodney said.

  Priscilla beamed. “You’re being extra helpful.”

  “I love you.” He leaned over and kissed her cheek.

  Suzy watched as his horn nearly poked his bride-to-be in the eye. She bit her lip to keep from laughing and reminded herself there’s someone for everyone. “I have a couple of song recommendations but you’re probably more versed than I am on music.”

  “Like what?” Rodney asked.

  “‘Call of the Zombie’ and ‘Living Dead Girl’ by White Zombie.” Suzy couldn’t believe she was suggesting these crazy musical selections to a bridal client.